I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
