is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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