You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
