guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
