I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
