I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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