"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
