Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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