Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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