Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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