Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
