my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
