plz talk dirty to me
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
