i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
