Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
