Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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