Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
