Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
