Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
