so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Randomize
