your parents love me but you hate me
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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