i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
