wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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