I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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