Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
