I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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