There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
