why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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