I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
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