How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
