if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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