His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
