if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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