I never want to see another naked old woman again.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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