Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
