I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize