he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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