she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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