girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize