it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
