last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Randomize
