I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
