sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
