And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
