I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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