I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
