I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He shit in the fireplace
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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