All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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