More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
