Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i can't believe i had my finger in that
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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