Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
