Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
