Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
