i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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