miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
