I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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