WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
