cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize