She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She told me I should be a condom model.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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