Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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