How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
