now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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