I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
