I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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